Surgery... or not?! (yes again!)

After a nice morning of law class where my prof was talking about what infections you can get when you got stuck in a hospital (yes, he really talked about that... we were working with a case where somebody accidentially shot someone who died after a blood transfusion in hospital because of an infection) I prepared for the next visit of a doctor. Last week, me favourite mole started hurting and got bigger and bigger. For a long time already I'm playing with the thoughts of going to remove it. I hate it, it's at my chin and countless times I already hurted myself when putting clothes. It's ugly but after my year in Japan I got know now what ugly actually means. That's why I actually forgot about it again.

But for any stupid reason it decided to catch a random infection and to hurt like it never hurted before. I never hated it that much for its existence ... it stayed like that for 5 days and somewhere in that time I went to get an appointment at the dermatologist.

Today he examined me and said that everything is ok but I should use this antibiotics lotion. After that he said: go to get an appointment for removing it. Well, isn't that what I wanted? The scar that will be left when it's gone won't look as worse as the thing he said (I wonder if he only wants to gain some extra money for that surgery...). I'm in a cleavage now. On the one hand I really want to get rid of it, but on the other I'm worried about how it will look later and first of all about the injection and needle through skin thing. No way I will go there alone - I'll die of hyperventilation!

I'm going to think about it. The idea is ...nice?... just the way of getting there is ...awful?... at least for someone who's scared of injections. First of all I'm going to pass the important surgery though. But I'm really close to say yes to the removement, I'm quiet tempted to it.